Do you ever find yourself smiling at every passerby at work, school or even on the street? I know that I have done this for quite some time, but recently I've started to wonder why. I'm not saying that smiling at strangers is wrong: in fact it's a nice way to pass on good vibes and maybe even cheer up someone who's having a rough day. What I'm curious about is the sincerity of the gesture.
I've been noting that when I smile at a stranger, they typically don't return the acknowledgement. What is most perplexing is how awful it makes me feel for a short while after. I always ponder why that person didn't respond with even a nod. Is there something disconcerting about me? Why can't I make this person I don't know smile back? It's odd how insecure I feel for a moment after the exchange. So I got to thinking about why I felt that way, and after some time I came to a conclusion: I've been trying too hard.
It may be that I feel this way because I grew up performing. I was taught to smile unconditionally while on stage, and the lesson might have carried over into my every day life. When you are performing, you are pleasing your audience. Pleasing the audience in turn pleases you, and who doesn't like to feel happy? So I smile to make others joyful, which in turn delights me. What I did not think about each time I felt let down by a passerby was the fact that, well, they just may not be that comfortable smiling back. That stranger you encountered on the way to work may have been preoccupied or even upset: the chances that your gesture is returned are the same as the chances that it is not. It's important to remember that it is not your fault if they don't acknowledge you.
So I plan to keep smiling at strangers, and I will try my best not to expect one in return. If it happens, then it will be a pleasant surprise:) What are your thoughts? Do you find you do the same thing? If you are the opposite, do overly smiley people make you uncomfortable?
(Photo from Merchant Circle.)
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